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Monthly Archives: November 2014

Supporting Law Enforcement?

It would not make sense to place cops above scrutiny, above the moral expectations we have for other people and occupations. I think we need to better understand how police departments work.

Incomprehensible Light

What can be said about a light that fails to illuminate, or an illumination that leaves the witnesses blind? What use is light to creatures who’ve adapted to life in the darkness of a cave?

The Shirt of Your Back

Dinner consists of the apple crisp I smelled. The apples are hand-picked and the crisp hand mixed from Grandma Shenks’ special recipe. Seriously, that’s dinner.

Power Crazy Redux

See the thing about power is, God, we love to critique it but when it’s ours, we hold that shit so tightly it would cost us our life to let go.

The Art of Pardoning Turkeys

In 2004, the president’s main turkey was named Biscuits. Its backup—because even turkeys get understudies—was named Gravy. The following year they were named Marshmallow and Yam.

Beyond Imagination and Control

As I’m forced to reconsider the value of these objects, especially my books, I’ve noticed that I tend to place more value on familiar things, precisely because I think I can exercise control over them.

Strange Enough

Strange Enough

by | Nov 23, 2014

This wasn’t the first time that this had happened to me. During my second year of college, a friend from high school that I hadn’t spoken to in two years sent me a Facebook message: “hey.”

Why I Am Going on Strike 

Why I Am Going on Strike 

Our struggle is against the authorities who misuse and abuse their power. Our struggle is against the evil that enslaves the world and is manifested in the actions of the University administration.

The Definitive Board Game Primer

The Definitive Board Game Primer

Brooklyn hipsters wearing glasses with no lenses gathered around driftwood tables, drinking boxed wine, and settling Catan is not at all a difficult image to summon.

Snowbound

Snowbound

But the snow does not fall only on the ill-prepared. It falls on 4.0 students, kids flunking every class, and overwhelmed first-year teachers alike.

The Bad Mother

The Bad Mother

I think if Tangled had existed when I was a child, I might not have even known to be scared of Mother Gothel. But Gothel is the kind of villain who haunts my nightmares now.

A Letter To My GPS

A Letter To My GPS

And in my rising, I have come up with a solution. Jellybeans. I will follow your stupid navigation decisions to the letter if you will spit out jellybeans for every correct turn.

A2

The past three months have swirled by in a flurry of skimmed articles, just-caught buses, and discussions over falafel and hummus about the drawbacks of capitalism.

Searching Serially

In an essay for The Awl, Jay Caspian Kang calls the podcast “an experiment in two old forms: the weekly radio crime show, and the confessional true-crime narrative.”

Hand Turkeys

Hand Turkeys

Thanksgiving should not come from comparing what we have ticked off on our fingers to what our neighbors do. Thanksgiving should be an actual experience of gratitude.

Restless

Restless

Those old haunts the heart still goes to—even daily comforts brought me to them. That all might not seem like much. It isn’t much. But my heart is still a broken thing. My odd heart.

Another Woman’s Moccasins

Another Woman’s Moccasins

If my fiancé decides to change his name, I want to make t-shirts that say WE ARE THE KRAMERS just to spite anyone who thinks this is not an option.

Wild and Free

Wild and Free

A serving of oatmeal eaten straight out of the brown paper package gets a five out of ten stars when eaten in my kitchen, but eleventy-twelve stars when eaten atop a mountain.

Toilets, an Autoethnography

Toilets, an Autoethnography

My fondness for toilets began in first grade when I staged a protest in the Jackson Elementary School girls’ bathroom. I objected to recess, of all things.

Hospitality

Hospitality

And if someone asks you what you’d like to drink, “nothing” is not an acceptable answer. If you say this, you will still get tea. Probably with three spoonfuls of sugar.

You Are A Tourist

He was there alone for about fifteen seconds, eyes closed, loving every moment. Those seconds were an eternity. A mop-headed kid in a big t-shirt ran up behind him and grabbed his shoulder.

My Recurring Nightmare

My recurring nightmare is this—I am back in high school. Cliché, I know, but every couple of months, I dream that I am my current age yet forced to go back to high school.

Getting Middle Schoolers to Do What They Should Be Doing: Four Methods

Getting Middle Schoolers to Do What They Should Be Doing: Four Methods

I really cannot comprehend why it has to be this way. I can’t believe I wake up every morning and have to come here and deal with this. I can’t believe I stay up late into the night preparing a fun and interesting lesson and THIS is how you treat me! You should be ashamed!

The Pre-Exodus Project

The Pre-Exodus Project

I discovered the other side of recorded music. The side we didn’t talk about in Professor Nordling’s class, and the side that makes recorded music even more challenging, I think, than live music.

What’s In A Name?

You can hyphenate your last name and your husband’s last name. You can take two last names. You can combine your last names into a new last name (for real, people do this).

A Shoreside Reverie

A Shoreside Reverie

Later, I was absentmindedly stirring my carbohydrate poverty (linguini) and gazing into the depths of slowly revolving noodles, lost in the translucent swirling. Then a voice startled me out of my reflections.

Another Thing Not On My Résumé

Another Thing Not On My Résumé

Ok, ok. I know what you’re thinking: It was a fly, Sabrina. It was something that hangs around poo and contaminates your food and is just generally a nuisance. You did humanity a service.

Making Gone Girl Go

Making Gone Girl Go

Presenting the best version of ourselves becomes loaded with pretense, as if our first impressions lock in our identities throughout the duration of a relationship.

How To Eat A Chicken

And then, when we had some friends over for a spaghetti and meatballs dinner party, I did it: I ate a meatball. And I didn’t die. And it tasted really, really good.